“I want to thank you for working on marriage for 10 Christmases. It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with.” - Ben Affleck
“But at no point can we ever assume that these rewards will come without putting in the work to achieve them. We’re signing up for a daily struggle — some days it’s a small struggle, some days larger — and a distinct set of tasks that must be completed in order to keep the whole thing from falling apart. These may range from the tiny (say “good morning” to your spouse in a cheery voice even though you wish you could shoot a nuke through the sun and return to sleep) to the sizable (find a way not to explode with rage and stomp out when your partner loses her temper and insults your mother) to the enormous (comfort your partner and assist with all the logistics after the agonizing death of his parent).
Large or small, it’s still work — there is no way around that. And failing or refusing to do this work means the death of the relationship, maybe not today, but eventually.”